Tuesday, April 7, 2020

Trump Is A Criminal, Example #LostCount

Trump is a criminal. Therefore, anyone who supports Trump is aiding and abetting criminality, so he/she is likewise a criminal.

Here's just the latest in a stupefyingly long list of his crimes:

Trump removes independent watchdog tasked with overseeing coronavirus emergency funds

I'll say it again: Trump is a criminal, and if you support him, you are a criminal. (You're a moron, too, and a bully, and an ignoramus, and a sociopath, but that's another matter; seek help.)

Paraphrasing Mencken, I hope he and all of you get what you deserve, and I hope you get it good and hard.

Monday, April 6, 2020

Boris Johnson Moved to the ICU - Days of COVID-19

UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson, sick with COVID-19 for 10 days now, has just been moved to the ICU.

Just so I understand -- Boris Johnson has been moved to the ICU because of: A) a hoax B) the common cold C) just the flu (though "who cares if it's 10 times more lethal") D) a serious, potentially fatal illness Will a Trump supporter please enlighten me?

(Bonus question for extra credit: Every time a MAGAt dies of COVID, does an angel get its wings?)

Sunday, April 5, 2020

Donald Trump, Captain of the U.S.S. Titanic

1. There is no iceberg.
2. We won't hit the iceberg.
3. We barely touched the iceberg.
4. Nobody could've seen the iceberg.
5. The iceberg didn't kill as many people as it could have so these deaths mean my plan worked.
6. I'm the best captain ever (and better than icebergs).
7. Icebergs are fake news.

8. The previous Captain steered us into that iceberg.
9. I had to sink the ship to fix it.
10. Nobody died.
11. I have the biggest penis!
12. Like a miracle, the ship will rise from the bottom.
13. I'm the most popular Captain ever.
14. I invented ships.
15. I always knew the ship was going to sink.
16. I have the biggest penis!

(Hat-tip to "Gumby" and "Policy Watcher")

Monday, March 30, 2020

Days of COVID-19

To all the Trump Cultists out there, all the MAGA morons, all the ignorant, know-nothing, science-denying jackasses who aren't taking this crisis seriously and who, even worse, are mocking and minimizing it, thus putting the lives of our frontline healthcare workers even more at risk than they already are, I wish I believed in hell so I could hope you would all rot there.

Livy has a saying for you, from 35 B.C.:
Eventus stultorum magister est.
Idiomatically translated: Fools must be taught by experience.

So be it.

It's not my fault you're so stupid and willfully ignorant that you have to learn the hard way.

Gotta cull the herd somehow.









Sunday, July 28, 2019

Wokerati, or the Lunacy of the Left

As a leftist, I often find myself hanging my head in shame at the idiocy and decidedly il-liberal tenets of political correctness. I've been railing against p.c. lunacy for over 35 years, every chance I get, not that I make much headway with my lefty brothers-in-arms (oh, lord, I just used a "gendered" expression -- oh, the horror!).

The wokerati stand firmly against the entire history of liberalism, with their insistence on "safe spaces" and "trigger warnings" and "sensitivity" and "cultural appropriation" and the whole raft of language-policing bullshit. They don't believe in freedom of speech. They don't believe in the First Amendment at all. They are little modern-day counterparts to the Maoists and Stalinists of old. They would be perfectly happy with struggle sessions (if they even know what those were, ahistorical as these people are).

They are, in short, frighteningly similiar to the far-right loons they love to decry. Hell, I decry them, too. But decrying two sides of the same coin doesn't give me much hope for the future, especially since these woke ones don't recognize their rightwing mirror images.

So several weeks ago, I wrote the first of what I imagine will be many such op-eds on this topic for my hometown newspaper, the Baltimore Sun. Here's the first part of it, with link to the whole thing:

Oh, dear. I have just discovered that I’m supposed to be offended. Furthermore, apparently I should have been taking offense for most of my life. Who knew? 
You see, I’m a first-generation Italian-American. I have dark hair, dark eyes, and skin that tans after 10 minutes in the sun. All my life, people have asked me what nationality I am — how quaint, such an old-fashioned word — or where I’m from.

Read the whole thing here

Friday, February 3, 2017

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening 
(with apologies to Robert Frost, who, I'm sure, is rolling over in his grave, along with so many others)

Wish I knew whom to credit for this great poetic parody, but I don't. Enjoy:

I have a pretty good idea whose woods these are, believe me.
And let me tell you something, my people say he's a complete nobody.
This guy lives in the village. So what if he sees me stopping here?
I dare him to sue me! I dare him!
And by the way, this snow is pathetic.
These are, by far, the least downy flakes ever!
I hear they import them from Canada.
I don't know. Maybe they did. Maybe they didn't. We're looking into it.
My horse -- he's the most incredible horse, seriously, I have the 
greatest, classiest horses--
My horse doesn't even know what the hell we're doing here.
The horses love me though. They do.
They're always shaking their bells at me, it's very loving.
It's a beautiful thing.
Let me tell you something, these woods are an embarrassment.
They're not dark. They're not deep.
They're nothing. They're for losers.
And I cannot wait to sue this guy.
I cannot wait to sue this guy.

Monday, January 30, 2017

Breaking News: White House in Mourning

Brunhilde Pomsel, the private secretary of Nazi propaganda minister Josef Goebbels during the last three years of WWII, has died at the age of 106.

So if you see the White House draped in black bunting and Steve Bannon and his coterie of neo-Nazis wearing black armbands, you'll understand why.

Friday, November 11, 2016

In Mourning

A fascist buffoon elected to the White House and the death of Leonard Cohen all in one week -- less than one week -- is about more than I can bear. If I believed in reading symbolism into everything, I'd say that Cohen died as an act of mourning for what's going on in this country. So rather than pile on with analysis and with facts, which don't mean anything in this age of blind rage and uncontrolled id, I'll let the man speak for himself. RIP, great man, great poet, great prophet:

by Leonard Cohen 
The birds they sang 
at the break of day 
Start again 
I heard them say 
Don't dwell on what 
has passed away 
or what is yet to be. 
Ah the wars they will 
be fought again 
The holy dove 
She will be caught again 
bought and sold 
and bought again 
the dove is never free. 

Ring the bells that still can ring 
Forget your perfect offering 
There is a crack in everything 
That's how the light gets in. 

We asked for signs 
the signs were sent: 
the birth betrayed 
the marriage spent 
Yeah the widowhood 
of every government -- 
signs for all to see. 

I can't run no more 
with that lawless crowd 
while the killers in high places 
say their prayers out loud. 
But they've summoned, they've summoned up 
a thundercloud 
and they're going to hear from me. 

Ring the bells that still can ring ... 

You can add up the parts 
but you won't have the sum 
You can strike up the march, 
there is no drum 
Every heart, every heart 
to love will come 
but like a refugee. 

Ring the bells that still can ring 
Forget your perfect offering 
There is a crack, a crack in everything 
That's how the light gets in. 

Ring the bells that still can ring 
Forget your perfect offering 
There is a crack, a crack in everything 
That's how the light gets in. 
That's how the light gets in. 
That's how the light gets in.

Monday, May 16, 2016

And the TSA incompetence beat goes on . . .

As I wrote earlier this month, TSA incompetence and stupidity -- combined with American populace passivity -- are causing thousands of people to miss their flights. The amount of time travelers are supposed to allow to get through airport security keeps ballooning -- from one hour to two hours to, now, three hours before their flights. And that's for domestic flights, mes amis, not just international ones. 

Sunday, May 8, 2016

Not the TSA for once, just general moron America

Because the level of ignorance and stupidity in this country can never be overestimated, we have the latest incidence of one of America's fine upstanding citizens displaying her intellectual acumen for all to see. And supposed airline professionals going along with her. True, this didn't involve the TSA, but we can easily see how the stupidity and paranoia exhibited by that organization -- and constantly hyped by our "security" overlords -- has spread to the population at large. 

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Belgium attacks: more proof that the TSA is useless

The bomb attacks in Belgium today -- three of them, two at different locations in the airport and one in the subway -- present in high relief yet more proof  of what some us have been pointing out for years: the TSA is a charade. The TSA does not and cannot and will never prevent terror attacks. All the pre-boarding bullying, harassing, scanning, and groping doesn't make a damn bit of difference, because -- duh -- people can set off bombs anywhere, not just on a plane. 

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

TSA goons steal woman’s shoes, bracelet at BWI

In the never-ending saga of TSA theft and stupidity — and did I say theft? — we have the latest episode (that we know of): at Baltimore-Washington International Airport, the goons spied yet another tasty treat they wanted to sample. So they pretended that said items were dangerous and confiscated them — er, sorry, encouraged the passenger to give them up. (As we know, since they tell us all the time, especially at their main propaganda organ, they don’t confiscate anything.) From the story in the Baltimore Sun

Monday, February 29, 2016

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Hindus for Trump? Yes, It's For Real

The sad (yet hilarious) thing is this isn't a joke. It's for real. And if you read this article by Sonali Kolhatkar, you'll see why it's not only sad, it's scary.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

R. I. P., Alan Rickman

More sad news to add to the start of this year. First David Bowie, and now Alan Rickman. Both 69, both died of cancer.

Rickman was simply one of the greatest actors of our time. And a great humanist. Marvelous actor, marvelous man. Why do such beautiful people have to go, while monsters like Dick Cheney still walk about?