Friday, February 3, 2017

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening 
(with apologies to Robert Frost, who, I'm sure, is rolling over in his grave, along with so many others)

Wish I knew whom to credit for this great poetic parody, but I don't. Enjoy:

I have a pretty good idea whose woods these are, believe me.
And let me tell you something, my people say he's a complete nobody.
This guy lives in the village. So what if he sees me stopping here?
I dare him to sue me! I dare him!
And by the way, this snow is pathetic.
These are, by far, the least downy flakes ever!
I hear they import them from Canada.
I don't know. Maybe they did. Maybe they didn't. We're looking into it.
My horse -- he's the most incredible horse, seriously, I have the 
greatest, classiest horses--
My horse doesn't even know what the hell we're doing here.
The horses love me though. They do.
They're always shaking their bells at me, it's very loving.
It's a beautiful thing.
Let me tell you something, these woods are an embarrassment.
They're not dark. They're not deep.
They're nothing. They're for losers.
And I cannot wait to sue this guy.
I cannot wait to sue this guy.

Monday, January 30, 2017

Breaking News: White House in Mourning


Brunhilde Pomsel, the private secretary of Nazi propaganda minister Josef Goebbels during the last three years of WWII, has died at the age of 106.


So if you see the White House draped in black bunting and Steve Bannon and his coterie of neo-Nazis wearing black armbands, you'll understand why.