Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening 
(with apologies to Robert Frost, who, I'm sure, is rolling over in his grave, along with so many others)

Wish I knew whom to credit for this great poetic parody, but I don't. Enjoy:

I have a pretty good idea whose woods these are, believe me.

And let me tell you something, my people say he's a complete nobody.

This guy lives in the village. So what if he sees me stopping here?

I dare him to sue me! I dare him!

And by the way, this snow is pathetic.

These are, by far, the least downy flakes ever!

I hear they import them from Canada.

I don't know. Maybe they did. Maybe they didn't. We're looking into it.

My horse -- he's the most incredible horse, seriously, I have the 

greatest, classiest horses--

My horse doesn't even know what the hell we're doing here.

The horses love me though. They do.

They're always shaking their bells at me, it's very loving.

It's a beautiful thing.

Let me tell you something, these woods are an embarrassment.

They're not dark. They're not deep.

They're nothing. They're for losers.

And I cannot wait to sue this guy.

I cannot wait to sue this guy.