Monday, July 6, 2015

"Awesome" Idiocy, or A Compendium of Synonyms for the Linguistically Challenged

Enough already with "awesome"! If I hear one more person use this goddamn word, I'm going to kill them (note to NSA/DHS goons: that statement is what's known as hyperbole; it's a perfectly respectable rhetorical device. It doesn't mean I actually want to kill anyone).

Not only millennials, who are the greatest sinners here, but even 50-somethings and 60-somethings are going around frothing at the mouth with "awesome!" I can't take it anymore. I would say I'm going to scream, but I've already been doing that, in spades. Fine people who are otherwise perfectly lovely are, apparently, so bereft of vocabulary that they can't think of any other way to describe something they like other than by saying, "Awesome!" 

It's driving me fucking crazy.

So here, gentle reader, is a non-exhaustive list of potential synonyms for your relentlessly repeated, relentlessly annoying use of "awesome." Try using one or two or even three of these words once in a while. Before you know it, your vocabulary will expand dramatically. And you won't sound like a clueless, conformist teenager:
wonderful

exciting

great

beautiful

amazing
fantastic

thrilling
marvelous

magnificent

spectacular

sensational

superb

tremendous

fabulous

fun

good (yes, it actually works)

delightful

sublime

lovely

glorious

brilliant

astounding

stupendous

phenomenal

excellent

dreamy   
remarkable 
extraordinary 
exemplary
stunning
breathtaking
gobsmacking 
As I said, this list isn't exhaustive. Come up with some synonyms of your own. It's fun!